So My Life Has Totally Changed… | brandise's Blog

 

…as I shared, my grandma passed away. It is sort of complicated but the short version of things is that when she had her heart attack she ended up in the hospital unconscious. After she was unable to deal with her affairs for a set period her advance directive kicked in and my dad and I were called to her attorney’s office. I had no clue why I was requested until I got there and found out that if she was incapacitated her designated heir or heirs would have power of attorney to conduct her affairs and carry out her advance directive. What I didn’t know is that she designated me her only heir. Now the reason for that involves some family dirty laundry, so I won’t go into details. But the short version is that 12 years ago my dad’s side of the family had a huge crisis. The net result was my dad withdrew from the family business and we moved south. My uncle disowned his family and cut off all contact and left. In fact, I didn’t even know I had an uncle because he was never around me when I was little and he was gone for most of my life. I was the only grandchild at that point, and my grandma and I were already very close. So she decided to make me her heir and make the team of my father and uncle trustees in the event of her death until I was of age. Well time passed and my dad and grandma made up mostly – she always said it was because of me. But she didn’t change her will. My brother was born and still she left things alone. When I found out about all of this in the attorney’s office I thought it was just a mistake and oversight. But I was of legal age and so the fact of the matter was that the business managers and attorneys were all looking to me to make some pretty major decisions about keeping the business going. So I sort of muddled through and tried to make sense of it all, praying that my grandma would not only get well, but would then fix this mess I was in. But she didn’t and looking back now I knew I was asking the impossible from her. So she passed on. And everyone that worked for her made this sort of seamless transition to working for me. It was mind boggling and I still get blown away when I think about it too much. After she passed I held together and kept things going and followed her final wishes to the letter. Besides all of this, I also had to deal with some family issues. My uncle “magically” reappeared when he heard my grandma was in the hospital. It took about five minutes of listening to him to discover he was back in hopes of getting the estate. He is the older brother. He actually threatened legal action and I was in a near panic. Then I got a message left by my grandma about what my uncle had done and when he found out I knew he decided his safest course was to disappear again. The next family drama came from my mom. My mom was upset that it was all just me, but my grandma left her a letter that I never read and after mom read it she was fine too. Then I got a video tape from my grandma explaining her decision to me. It is still way to emotional to go into too much but now I know why and she also reminded me that I could handle it. So I have been trying ever since to be strong and do right. I want to be honest - I haven’t always succeeded. And I know there will be bad days. She didn’t ask the impossible. Still I am trying to sort everything out.

I am sure this doesn’t make much sense to most of you, but I am writing this more for me than anything else. Trying to find my balance again. It seemed so much easier to write here than anywhere else. My EP friends have been awesome helping me cope and keeping a lifeline open for me. I will write more about the business and my changing life later.